Resisting Office Temptation

My office consistently tests my determination to be a figure competitor. Everyday there is some new insulin-spiking foolishness trying to get me off track. The amount of junk food that walks through the doors of my office and out the bellies of my co-workers is ridiculous. Pick your poison…and you’ll find it at my place of employment.

The Candy Lady: My personal office is conveniently *pause* next door to my supervisor’s office. She’s fondly known as the “Candy Lady.” She keeps Halloween and Easter economy sized bags of candy and treats in her office at all times. Any day of the week, there are three large plastic jugs filled with assorted foolishness. Anybody is welcome to come in her office–if she is there or not–to take a piece or handful of sweets. All she asks is that the person who took the last piece, refills the jugs.

I hear folks going in and out of her office ALL DAY LONG. Sometimes as early as 9:00AM, I hear plastic wrappings being removed and discarded from butterscotch, taffy, chocolate, and suckers.  O_0

The Goodie Table: The ultimate Den of Temptation is the break room. My co-workers have this need to leave food for the entire office on what I call the “Goodie Table.” At least twice a week, some “benevolent” co-worker brings in donuts, candy, bagels, pastries, or cake. Twice this year, the Candy Lady has brought in a spread that would put Willie Wonka to shame: 3 tables full of cakes, pastries, donuts and other treats that you will NEVER find on my meal plan. On one such day, I brought my breakfast of quinoa, cinnamon, honey and apples. The Candy Lady presented a spread of cake and pastries to me and instructed me to save my breakfast for later. I smiled and thanked her then slipped out before she had an opportunity to give me a plate.

Think I’m exaggerating?! Here is the menu for the past week (so far):

  • Monday: 2 pound cakes – yellow cake and chocolate with bright frosting
  • Tuesday: Homemade baklava *drools*
  • Wednesday: 1 large box of Dunkin Donuts + 1 large bowl of assorted chocolates + 1 lonely slice of yellow cake
  • Thursday: Pot luck lunch for all the folks having babies…I’m excited about the babies, but not so much about the potluck

The “Voluntary” Lunches/Networking Events: I’m not done! No…there’s more. As I’ve already hinted to, on the days there aren’t goodies we have “voluntary” lunches. A mass email or office announcement is made instructing folks to come to the Den of Temptation…jeez. Salad and fresh veggies are NEVER on the caterer’s menu. I mean…seriously? I am constantly plotting ways to participate in these activities without having to binge on simple carbs and refined sugar….*sighs.* I have come up with a few strategies.

The “Stay on Track” Game Plan for Office and Social Events:

  • AVOID: I learned quickly to wimp out and just avoid temptation whenever I could. It takes a lot of strength to acknowledge a weakness, which means I’m pretty strong by my calculations. :-) Whenever I have the option to simply avoid an event, I skip it. These opportunities are few and far between because I usually come off as anti-social. Not. A. Good. Look. Usually, I avoid the goodie table. I stay far, far away from it. I get what I need and STEP AWAY! Constantly staring and hovering around it make it more likely that I will succumb to its powers. No sir…not happening. I’m hip to that game!!!
  • NURSE: It baffles me that folks get offended when I don’t have a plate or drink in my hand. I just don’t get it. This was most problematic at networking events while I was in graduate school. Folks can get real pissy when they see someone is not taking as many back as they are. My solution was to get a glass of wine or something sparkly and hold on to it the ENTIRE night. I’m networking so no one knows that I’m holding onto room temperature alcohol. I keep it moving. With food, I put something, ANYTHING, on my plate and push it around a bit. Make it look picked over. For some reason, people think I’ve been eating. Whatever works…
  • EAT AHEAD: I always try to eat before an event or lunch. Five minutes before an exam, I was in the hallway STUFFING a banana and granola bar into my mouth. I chewed happily as they were passing out the exams. I’ve been known to employ this same tactic before networking events. I sit in my car and eat a turkey breast and salad before walking inside. Is it kind of weird…yes. Does it work…HECK YEA. Food is never my concern or distraction because I’m fueled. My attention stays on the task at hand, taking an exam or socializing/networking. This also comes in handy when you are directly offered something.  Oh, no thank you. I’m full. *smile*
  • DRINK WATER: Water is awesome. It really is. I tend to drink a lot of it when in these situations. I keep a bottle or glass of the good stuff in my hand at all times. I’ve even asked a bartender to pour some water into a “non-water” glass at events where there is alcohol. Last time I checked, water and clear liquors look the same!! The pissy folks are satisfied. They think I’m partying too! Everyone is happy…high fives and good times!
  • BRING YOUR OWN: Depending on the event, I can sometimes get away with bringing my own food. These situations are the absolute best because I can eat AND socialize. WIN!

*Sighs loudly* Wish me luck at this potluck!

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