Love You or Lose You

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my closest girlfriends.  The fact that she’s one of my closest friends is not incidental.  It’s important because that means that she and I are so close that we feel free to be ourselves when speaking to one another.  Our opinions and truths flow freely and unfiltered.  That kind of freedom leads to powerful discovery about self and others.  It is as though a powerful magnifying glass were placed upon any situation.  Every detail is presented clearly for you to see.  We turned our magnifying glass onto one of our friends.

She’s weak.  She doesn’t value herself enough to demand the things out of life that she so richly deserves.  I know that’s a vague and ambiguous description of her weakness but, the details are insignificant.  This isn’t a gossip blog and there will be no dirty laundry aired here today.  You see, the underlying factor is that she doesn’t love who she is enough to recognize how her life is getting away from her.

Believe it or not, to some extent, each one of us is her.  I can’t count how many times I have felt the pangs of jealousy when another more physically fit sister walks past me.  I hang my head and try to fade into the wall paper.  Each time I do that, I’m tearing myself down and loosing the essence of who I am as a woman.  How may men do you need to have sex with before you realize that promiscuity doesn’t equal promise?  When you pull out your Visa or MasterCard to charge yet another item of “it” clothing, do you realize those fashions can’t quell your aching heart?  The point is to reach inside of yourself and find the things that make you, you.  Examine those things.  Then, embrace them.  You will not be given another chance to right the wrongs of your past or rewrite your history.  You are who you are.  Therefore, love what you see in the mirror and what you know is on the inside.

Here are some tips on Loving You:

Tip #1:  Make a list of your most admirable qualities and put it in your purse/wallet.  Read it often and take pride in those attributes.

Tip#2:  Seek therapy.  It’s okay to unburden yourself to someone that is a complete stranger.  You don’t run the risk of your inner most thoughts being exposed to anyone due to patient/doctor confidentiality.  Let it all out and free your mind and spirit.

Tip #3:  Abandon that negative self speak.  Do you understand?  Stop putting yourself down in your speech.  Don’t say “I’m too big”, “I’m not talented”, “I’m not pretty”, etc.  Remove that negativity from your vocab.

Tip #4:  Learn how to take a compliment.  When someone blesses you with the gift of a compliment, place it in a box in your memory and visit that box as often as you can.  Never disrespect anyone by downplaying their compliment to you.  Graciously say thank you and smile.

Tip #5: Stop comparing.  Don’t compare yourself to your peers, parents or anyone else.  Your journey is yours.  You’ll get to where ever it is you’re going on your time table.

Tip #6:  Love yourself to pieces.  If it’s impractical for you to love all of you right now, break yourself down into bite sized pieces and love little pieces of yourself until you love all of you.

Until next time, love yourself like there is no next time.

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