Why are you so ANGRY?

I’ve always aligned myself with the philosophy that letting your anger and frustration out was better than holding it in.  Think about it, if you allow your stress and daily pressure to well up inside of you, you’d end up going mad and whistling  like a tea kettle.  I think an issue that quite of few of sisters of color have is checking that anger and not allowing it to consume them. It is not common in our community to teach the art of stress management.  You can tell when you’ve spotted a sister that has not developed her own ways of dealing with her anger and upset.  I see these sisters in restaurants, at the mall and at work.  They walk around with a permanent grimace on their faces.  They are quick tempered and ill mannered. Newsflash anger sista, that is incredibly unattractive.  My mama said it best “fix your face”.  Your bad attitude, horrible manners and ignorant behavior are also men repellents.  I wonder if they realize that.  Don’t even get me started on how their children are affected by their behavior!

I become upset just being around these ladies.  The sad part is someone hurt them really bad and they just haven’t been able to recover.  Someone broke their heart.  Someone left them alone.  Someone turned them down.  Someone ignored them and neglected them.  All of this is tragic but, it is no excuse.  So, here is what I propose.  Deal with your feelings before you destroy your life!  Here are some tips for ditching the anger.

Tip #1:  It sounds cliche but, sometimes just counting and breathing can diffuse anger.  Take a deep breath in through your nose while counting to five, then exhale out of your mouth while counting to five.  This simple technique reduces the heart rate and gives you time to think before reacting.

Tip #2:  Don’t allow yourself to be around things that trigger your anger.  If your friends, husband, mom, siblings or whomever are your triggers, learn how to either cope with them or remove yourself from their presence.

Tip #3:  Don’t be a bully!  Don’t curse out the nail technician for going too slow, or yell at the waitress when your burger isn’t perfect.  Instead, try thinking about things objectively, using logic and reason as opposed to anger.

Tip #4:  Don’t be a stereotype.  Don’t feed into the angry Black woman syndrome.  Think about what you’re portraying to the world when you behave angrily.

Until next time, diffuse and relax like there is no next time!

Last 5 posts by Rochelle


  1. Tia says:

    I have friends like this too. The kind that are always in a sour mood. I make sure I spend limited time with them and catch myself when I feel like i’m the ABW.

Speak Your Mind