Can I Get A Witness?My Story of Starting Over!

There is something about starting over that’s scary.  The unknown of how things will unfold, once we’ve made that first step in a new direction, invokes such fear that we sometimes prefer to go year after year following the same unproductive routine. One of my favorite Donald Trump quote is, “Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away, and move on to something that’s more productive.”

Yes, you risk failing when you start new things.  Life doesn’t always unfold quite as planned.  However, failure is confirmation that you dared to try.

Overcoming obstacles builds tenacity.  The only way we can become wiser, figure out what we’re good at, decide what we like and what’s fulfilling, is by challenging ourselves to learn new things, try new things, meet new people, and set new goals.  This process always includes a series of do overs.

Sometimes, we might decide within ourselves that we need to start over.  Oftentimes, life forces us to start over through traumatic, life changing events such as natural disasters, illness, divorce and death.

Finally, sometimes, we have to start over because what we’re pursuing or holding on to is not within God’s master plan.  If God did not ordain it, it will not work.  Say it with me ladies, “If God did not ordain it, it will not work.”  Stick this to your refrigerator because there is truth in this statement.  This statement is a priority adjuster.  Once you’ve come to terms with this truth, you will bypass all the irrelevant activities you want to pursue, and focus on what you were meant to pursue.

My Testimony

Seven years ago I had a list of goals that I wanted to achieve before I was 35.  Owning property, being free of credit card debt, and going natural were at the top of my list.  In 2004, at the age of 29, a family member approached me with a proposal.  This individual wanted us to invest in property together.  Glory hallelujah! God answered my prayers.  Four years later, this person abandoned the property and left me with a mortgage I could not afford.  I spent all my resources to maintain this property and my good credit.  Of course, my prayers were that God would see me through, because He did not give me this property to have me fail.  The truth was, God was never a part of that transaction.


I read my Bible, prayed, referred to my Donald Trump quote and realized I was prolonging the inevitable.  Yes, I was about to go into foreclosure sooner rather than later.  So, naturally, I freaked out.  When reality struck, I immediately found myself at the precipice of a nervous breakdown.  What did I do?  I prayed, cried, and then I went on vacation for three weeks.  I returned with a new perspective, a plan of action, and a new order of priorities.  On vacation, I came to terms with the fact that I had to start over.  I had to proceed to take the necessary steps required to obtain the life I envisioned prior to 2004.

What You Should Learn

Regardless of how you’ve been wronged, who has done the wrongdoing, or what tragic situation has occurred, you are responsible for the quality of your life and your joy.  In the midst of a situation where you’ve lost everything, bouncing back might seem impossible.  Where is the joy in this natural disaster?  Where will my family live?  When will I get a job?  What will happen if my home forecloses?  How much longer will I be shuffling from shelter to raggedy, stinking shelter?  These are legitimate questions and fears.  This is why it is important to cultivate the right mindset before life strikes.

Cultivating the Right Mindset

The following list is just a start on how you should approach life:

* Don’t just memorize the Word, apply it and believe it.
* Believe that God will supply your every need.
* Believe that your situation will get better.
* Live a life of service.
* Before you make a move consult God.
* Know your worth and know that your worth is not attached to your job, your home, or any material possession.
* Define yourself; otherwise, your situation will define you.
* Truly forgive.
* Accept your reality.

How it ended

Well, my story is just beginning and that’s the beauty of starting over.  It’s a new journey.  This situation made me wiser; it helped me to realize my purpose, and it funneled me into a life of service.  In the big picture, I accomplished all three goals.  In assessing my life, I’ve learned that it is much better to celebrate the fact that I had a goal; I attacked the goal; and I followed through, rather than be upset because the venture did not turn out as planed.  Whether I fail or succeed is irrelevant, what’s important is that I dared to do it and I learned from the experience.  Most importantly, because I know for sure what God can do for me, i’m positive that with Him, I can venture into my future fearlessly and conquer any giant.

If you’re chasing that relationship that isn’t going anywhere, if you’re doing life instead of being a part of life, if you are just sick and tired, I dare you to formulate a plan of action and start over.

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  1. Tia says:

    I really enjoyed this post Ebonie!!! Very inspiring.

  2. Ebonie says:

    Thanks Tia!! Sometimes you gotta cut your losses to experiences total freedom.

  3. ktokkisa says:


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