“Be your man’s cheerleader – or someone else will” was a status posted by one of my Facebook friends. I was single when I read it, but I thought it was sound advice then, and even better advice now. The FB friend is a successful doctor, and her boyfriend is an aspiring designer. If you are like me, (I’m admitting it) you immediately start thinking that he is not good enough for her. I have this thought whenever I hear about or meet any of my friend’s boyfriends and husbands. I have great friends, and I’ve come to realize that I don’t think any man would ever be good enough for them.
I’ve also realized to keep my damn mouth shut when. I’ve realized the power of the tongue. I realize that I don’t want my genuine concern to appear as hate. I don’t want my friend to cast doubt on their relationship, because of my opinions.
Over the weekend, I attended a wedding. I was blessed to know this couple from a distance. I didn’t have enough intel to judge. I could only go by the look in their eyes, the smiles, and the whispered I love yous throughout the evening. I made me think about how the best friends are on the side, the family in the audience, and once it is said and done it is only the couple that walks down together at the end. As a sister-friend I may be on the stage, but I am not the one making the commitment.
So ladies, don’t lose your man messing around with your friends and family. I’m not big on lists, but if he meets you must haves, don’t second guess it.
Here are some tips for getting your friends and out of your relationship:
1. Note: If your mate is abusive, or makes you feel bad about yourself – please evaluate the relationship. Don’t mistake genuine concern for hate.
2. Talk to your friend long before things get out of hand and set boundaries. – I used to call my friend’s bf a not so nice nickname. One day, she asked me to stop and refer to him by his name and now my conversations regarding him are completely respectful.
3. Keep some things to yourself. Your friends do not need the play by play of your relationship. This contributes to their judgments, and although you may get over things quickly — trust me they will not.
4. Make sure your friend is really a friend. There are people who may not want to see you happy.
How do you keep your friends out of your relationship? What do you do to be a supportive mate?
Last 5 posts by Tia Jones, MBA
- What are your kids listening to? - March 5th, 2012
- The Most Wonderful Time of the Year - November 15th, 2011
- The Lesson Roland Martin Taught Me - September 8th, 2011
- New Love - The Newborn Syndrome - September 4th, 2011
- Shaunie O'neal and her 7 Must Haves at ChineseLaundry Shoes!! - July 11th, 2011