Moving on After Divorce: You Can Do It

So the divorce is final and the kids have come to grips with the fact that mommy and daddy are no longer an item. What’s next? 

No one said divorce would be easy, but there is life after divorce. Rebuilding your life after a divorce can be hard, especially when there are children involved.  It is very important that there is a cordial relationship between the parents for the sake of the children.  Although the parenting part of the relationship has to be maintained, it is important that the healing process takes place in order to move on beyond the other aspects of marriage, such as the personal relationship that once existed between husband and wife.  

Unfortunately, I have had the opportunity to witness, what happens when the healing process does not take place after divorce.  Although one party in the divorce had moved on, the other party still viewed herself, the child, and her ex-husband as a family unit, despite the fact that there was now a stepmother.  This is not to say that this is the wrong perception to have, but it just shows that she has not fully accepted the fact that the marriage is, indeed, over.

 In order to move forward with your life after divorce, you must first forgive the other party, as well as yourself, of all wrong doings that occurred during the marriage.  Try not to point the finger.  Get to a place where it’s not really any one persons fault, it just didn’t work out.  This is very important in starting the healing process.  Do not look at your divorce as a failure because there are no guarantees in marriage. 

Allow yourself to heal before starting a new relationship. Often times, we tend to think that the best way to heal from previous relationships is to start a new one. This is the biggest misconception of all.  Starting a new relationship before you’re ready may result in carrying the hurts of your previous relationship into the new one.  Unfortunately, this can be disastrous to the new relationship, never giving the new relationship a chance of survival. There are several support groups for those needing help with the process of moving on after divorce.  To find a support group near you please check out http://www.divorcecare.org/

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Comments

  1. Tracy Moring says:

    Divorce is indeed a life changing thing. I went through a 7 year divorce (I may write a book on it one day), and it was no party. I am now re-married so I was not totally turned off to the possibility of a happy ending/beginning (I have now been happily re-married for 7 1/2 years). Give time and trust God.

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