Just Friends

We’ve all been there, men and women alike. You meet someone, and you’re excited about making a new friend. After weeks of late night phone conversations, sharing your hopes, dreams, and aspirations, you can’t believe how much you two have in common.  You enjoy the witty banter over impromptu lunch and dinner dates. As well as talking about current events, life changes, or something as simple as the hottest shows or the newest block buster over brunch.

Then one day it hits you, you find yourself starting to wonder why this amazing person is single, or better yet, why you aren’t dating them.  Your platonic feelings have turned into a full blown crush, and you are now faced with one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever have to make. Okay, so maybe it’s not one of the hardest, but you get my drift. After agonizing over this new development for the next few days, weeks, or in some cases, months, you decide to throw caution to the wind. You are going to share your feelings, and let the chips to fall where they may.

You wait for the perfect time to express your interest, choosing between the late night phone conversations, impromptu lunch and dinner dates, eventually deciding to it would be best to say how you feel over one of the fun filled brunches. The mood is set, the champagne is flowing, and the French toast is on point. After you finish your meal, one of the many topics discussed is who is dating who, and you think carpe diem! Only before you have a chance to cease the moment, as though they had been reading your mind, and knew what was coming next, they slap you in the face with the infamous phrase we’ve all heard before, “I’m so glad we’re friends. I’ve come to think of you as a brother/sister.”

Your words of adoration are not caught in your throat, and as you try not to choke on them, you push these words out instead: “That’s so funny. I was going to say the same thing.” You smile as your insides churn from regret and disappointment. But as time goes on, if you’re lucky, you’ll get to discover that person has just as many faults as they do perfections.  And hopefully their newly discovered nuisances will cause your feelings of love, to dissipate at a fast and steady pace.

I know if you really love someone, you will accept the good with the bad, but in matters of unrequited love, I think there are certain exceptions to that rule. Now, don’t get me wrong, being just friends with someone also has its benefits. You may get to see sides of them that others are never exposed to, for instance, their incredibly goofy or vulnerable sides. You also get to know a lot, if not all of their secrets. I always find it entertaining when my male friends meet knew women, and all I can think is, if she only knew what she was really getting into, she might think twice before giving them her number.

So when you find yourself being placed into the friend zone, don’t look it as a negative. That person is probably saving you from a lot of heartache. Besides, men and women come and go, but if you’re lucky, you’re friendship will last a lifetime.

By: Ariel Driskell

Last 5 posts by aedriskell2

Comments

  1. Mimi says:

    Wonderful story, I can relate.

  2. Monnica says:

    Wonderful article, I can relate with this situation and I’m happy to be in the friend zone

  3. Nickki says:

    Love the article. Well said!

  4. mara says:

    Thanks for this one…right on point. Unfortunately it didn’t go as smooth for me. I had someone I had been friends with for over 2 years and in that time frame we had our share of falling out etc but for some reason after we cooled off from our latest disagreement; which some lasted for 4 months we would get re-aquainted. Once he sprang the news on me as he was talking with me I was in the closest thing to shock that I have experienced. I thought to myself just let him talk and don’t say anything because afterall you just can’t spring something like that on a person…oh a couple of important facts; he was physically separated from his wife so in my eyes still married as there was no legal moves toward ending the relationship and I was out one night with some friends and he showed up with who I found out later was a woman he has been seeing for about 2 years. But I digress…before I ever had a chance or took the time to address his thoughts he came to my house unannounced and found a male new friend of mine at my house and from that it went down hill the same person who 6 weeks prior was professing his love toward me was blasting me to who ever would lend their ear. In the end, I found myself so THANKFUL for how God will expose the lies and reveal the truth when we are ready for both to occur. At this time I don’t talk to either man and in short it’s all good. 😉 thanks again for this one

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