Taken for Granted

Many of you may be able to attest to the loss of special loved ones. I have experienced many losses over my 30 years which would include the loss of my sister, my grandparents(both sets of maternal and paternal), and cousins who have ended their journeys much too soon.

Recently, in fact on Thanksgiving Day, one of my beloved uncles lost a dear woman who he has loved for over 20 years. She was also the mother of their 11 year old child. She was only 38. Her death, as many say, was so sudden. I don’t really know the circumstances behind her death. What I do know is a man is without “his woman”, a mother is without her daughter, and a daughter is without her mother. While I wasn’t extremely close with her, I was close to my uncle. Whenever I would go down to visit, she was always there. She was always there to crack a joke, always supporting her daughter in whatever activity she wanted to pursue, always working hard to fulfill her family’s dreams.

So, upon the news of her death, I have had some time to reflect on all of my relationships, especially within my immediate family. Do I take these precious relationships for granted? We always count on this person or that person to always be there, even when our relationship with the person may be rocky. We allow months to go by without calling that person. We let minor disagreements brew into major dramas. We harbor resentments that eat away at our souls, all for the sake of making sure that person feels the hurt we feel. Even in loving relationships, we tend to assume that our husband’s will always be there to provide for us. Our mothers will always be on the other end of the phone waiting to give unwanted advice. Our fathers will always be able to bail us out. Yet, when that person is removed from our lives forever, all the things we should have said to honor their existences are left to sadly appear in the form of obituaries and eulogies. These words would have been great to say, had that person still been alive to hear them.

One thing that has remained consistent since my sister died, is that my mother and I never depart ways or end a conversation without saying “I love you”. We have always been a lovey-dovey couple of people. Even my husband and friends can attest to this. However, the need to say “I love you” became even stronger after we lost her. If we were to accidentally get off the phone without saying this phrase, we would immediately call each other back. When I have told this to people, they look at me weird. I look right back at them and say, “Well, don’t you do the same?” It’s not to say that every relationship should mimic ours. I know different relationships have different dynamics. Even in the best of relationships, “I love you” is not often said because it is already assumed that that feeling is mutual. Somehow, I always thought that if that person were to leave this Earth at any moment, what comfort it would bring me to know that I was able to tell him/her “I love you”.

I’ve said all this to say, re-evaluate what and who you feel are important to you everyday. In a way, losing weight has allowed me to re-evaluate my relationships. I want to be here to share a long life with my mate, I want to be around to see my son (and hopefully another child, someday :)) meet all of his milestones in life. I want to be able to do my job, which is very physically demanding, without difficulty due to preventable health issues. I want to show God my ultimate love for Him by taking the best care of the temple he has given me for this little while that I have on Earth. I hope my words did not upset you. In fact you should rejoice! At this very moment, which is fleeting, we have a chance to love onto somebody and mend broken relationships. Don’t take this opportunity for granted!

 

This article was written by Sanpri Porter, check out her blog Losing Weight is My Gain.

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