New Age dating: It’s your turn to pay!

dateSo what is consider a date?

Defined by Merriam-Webster online dictionary date means an appointment to meet at specified time; especially: a social engagement between two persons that often has a romantic character.

I have been single for a longtime this dating thing is getting more and more complicated for me especially when it comes to who pays for the date and when.   I am used to traditional dating a man and woman go out the man picks up the tab.

Where is the tradition of dating gone?

This New Age dating trend issue came up recently during a conversation with a guy friend. He told me that if a woman asks a man out she should pay, but if she suggests the idea and he asks her out he pays. Well I always thought the guy pays unless the woman volunteers pay the bill. Then he went on to say how he likes when a woman pays because it shows can hold her own.  I thought to myself whatever!

I feel woman should be wine and dine during a courtship, and men should not expect anything in return (sex).  Our company and companionship should be enough, but if it’s not then men do not ask her nor except if she asks you out on a second date where she is expected to pay.

Yes we can pay for it if need be, but it should be okay to go out on a second, third, or fourth date without feeling like it our turn to pay when the bill arrives. Or feel guilty that he is paying for the bill.

Dating should be fun, exciting and getting to know one other not worrying about who asked who out and who’s gonna foot the bill!



  1. Anyana says:

    What about you start the way you want to finish. If the woman pays on the first date is she starting something she will have to keep up throughout the relationship.

    Good topic Ange

  2. L_A_235 says:

    While you bring up some valid points about courtship and romance, there are other things to consider. Getting to know one another doesn’t require stepping out of the house for a “paid” engagement. If a man is interested enough in a woman he may go “all out” at every chance he gets, but if the comments are “when are you going to take me out”, then a man is sometimes led to believe that this is all that is required from him. A free lunch so to speak. So maybe date selections should be replaced with “let’s go somewhere and talk” or “walk with me at the park”. Both parties can walk away without worrying about a bill…ijs

  3. Twhite says:

    Although it’s been decades since I’ve been in the dating game. I have several single friends & I listening to their stories. If your going on a “date” your definitely not paying! A man should always Woo-Woo-Woo his date. Ladies don’t even take a wallet. Like Florida said on “Good Times” to James when Thelma went on her first date, “James give Thelma just enough for the bus just in case. Ladies take it back the way it’s supposed to be. Be Woo-Woo-Woo’d on EVERY date!

  4. Sherese says:

    AngieB your article was good. I personally would have to wait for him to offer the date and pay. I believe in the “ole fashioned” way of dating. Man takes woman out and pays. He gets nothing in return but a good night kiss….;)

  5. la_235 says:

    The old fashioned way…is just that old fashioned…everything now a days in “new and improved”. I as a man agree that we should pay for dates, but always? if every time “we” go out “I” have to get the check, naturally there will be less “us” dating

  6. Royal says:

    I must say I’m a lil “ole fashioned”….the man should take the tab. I can understand that would get expensive therefore I may be willing to pay my own tab. Can’t say that I would be willing to pay for the both of us regardless of who initiated the date. ” I like to know he can hold his own” too. LOL.

  7. Miss. Young says:

    Angie good post friend. I believe the man should foot the bill while dating. Now if you move from dating to being a couple, then that is different. You should both then compromise & evenly show your affection by treating each other when possible. And it doesn’t always have to be going out on the town. It could be a home cooked meal & a movie.

  8. SUSAN says:

    Angie great post! And I agree with Miss Young.

  9. Traci says:

    It gets tricky with hard and fast rules because here are always exceptions. Although I’ve been out of the dating game for a while now, I always held that whoever did the asking did the paying. I also held that the in the early stages of dating, the man should do most if not all of the asking. I’ve had situations where I asked a guy out and when the check came, he insisted upon paying, even though I had initiated the date. But that’s how classy guys do it. By the same token, it is very “something” for a woman to invite a man out, choose a very expensive place and expect him to foot the bill or it. It’s not so much about whether or not he is able to as it is about common courtesy and the difference between a lady and an “un-lady” (to put it politely) If a woman like she is entitled to be all up and through a man’s pockets early on, he may treat his cash outlays as advance payment for services yet to be rendered…..

  10. K says:

    I am with the old fashioned way. Go ahead and train him in the way he should go. Old fashioned should be the new “New Fashioned”.

  11. Rosa Marie Campbell says:

    My opinion is that a man should do the honors and pay for the dinner or meal during courtship. However, if you it more than courtship it is okay to pay for the dinner or meal.

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