This one fact I do know and that is, God is love and since he is love there is no fear that should be attached, no violence only mutual love and respect. But what do you do when you’ve fallen in love with an abuser? You seek Christ and patience in His healing process.
I’ve had those butterflies in my belly wondering if he was “the one”, wondering if I had finally come to the end of my dating misery and been found by my Mr. Right. Wondering if a love eternal had appeared through a man willing to turn in his notched belt for a lifetime of my love and my love only, then it came to me; I’ve never wondered if it was it was Mr. Wrong starring in my eyes or how about we call him Mr. Abusive.
But I met him: I met Mr. Abusive through the bruises of loved ones and the tears of friends. Through the eyes of women who feel they aren’t worth more, that they deserve for their bodies to be beaten sore and discolored, through own my tears, tears caused by my own Mr. Abusive. I knew I couldn’t live like that, I couldn’t put my daughter through the horror I once experience and then Christ said; “There is no fear in love but perfect love casteth out all fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18 He was ministering my healing through His word but it took time.
It’s easy to say leave but what happens when that woman’s mind is captured by the charismatic lies this man presents. What happens when it’s the man being hit? For me I found my solace in Christ. I ran to Him in prayer and with truth. My truth was that I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to go, I didn’t want to be alone yet I knew, I acknowledged that this man was not the one and that he was Mr. Abusive. God then began to deal with my heart and my mind. He began healing me one wound at a time.
So I say to women who feel obligated to helping these men be free or feel loved; it is not your responsibility and yes it is easier said than done. But it is impossible to stay free of abuse if your mind is still there. There is no fear in love; no one should bring you low for them to tower. When love has really presented itself it is different than anything you’ve ever felt. You often wonder if it is real. I experienced this right before my true love died and I am forever grateful to have met him, to have experienced love through him, real love that didn’t desire a touch, a kiss but a heart connection and for me to compliment his identity while he complimented mine. They say this type only comes once in a life time but I trust God to present my Mr. Right as well as yours.
*Abuse is the cowardly expression of fear through pain from one very broken person onto another. But peace in ones identity allows for love to be expressed without a trace of fear. If you are in this situation seek help and safety. For more resources on domestic violence go to http://www.thehotline.org/