Love Game Host

The love game started around the same time I had “rededicated” my life to Christ. It started when I chose to give Him my all. The games started through someone I had known for years…YEARS.  Naive and young I learned that time didn’t mean merit. Nor did it vindicate marriage. This guy, the love game host, he’d been a friend of a friend of mine and I’d trust him with the time that I was supposed to be dedicating to my Father.

It all started off (seemingly) innocent, we were both saved and well it would be a good idea to be accountability partners.  So we commenced to going on movie dates, dinner dates, we even went to church together…but  this is when things became evident that this time consuming love game was for play – nothing close to serious. You see he wouldn’t sit with me around common company only strangers.  Then the lines became confusing when the love host introduced me as friend after having said he loved me, and he said it first.

“I love you”. Not I love sis, but I love you.  So my heart began to thump and beat rapidly I didn’t understand how something seeming to be so real was so confusing. I thought he was the one.  I mean after all he was saved so that meant we were equally yoked. But I never consulted my Father; you know the one I neglected for the LOVE GAME HOST in the first place. The one who’s time I was spending with another. I began to seek Him for truth and He continued to answer by repeating the signs He’d shown me in the beginning. Yet I said if I just give him time, the LOVE GAME HOST, that he’d come around and be all mine.  I still didn’t get it because I was yet willing to steal more time away from the Father in exchange for a counterfeit.

Now the feelings are growing deeper and I began to seek counsel from mature godly women, who in essence confirmed all the Father had spoken. But I was afraid to listen, in the beginning for fear of another young woman getting my LOVE GAME HOST. The final straw would be a movie date in which he sat very far from me and then afterwards shared with me a tempting text from another woman – not only compromising our relationship but also by showing me his true stance with the Father.

Now I can’t blame him, and I choose – at this point – to be accountable for my own part in the matter. I was just as responsible for heeding the temptation of a false relationship in the stead of time with my Father. I failed to heed the warning of anything that comes in between my relationship with Christ being nothing more than a distraction.  So what was I to do now, recklessly abandon to Christ? Yes, that would actually have been the wiser decision but instead I chose to wallow in [my] self pity by submitting my body to sin. I would run to the arms of more distraction, and false relationships. With the Father still calling my name I eventually turned my heart towards submission to no other authority but His.

Now I sit typing – yet single- but happy on purpose and in love with the King who cherishes me, in love with my God who says that according to Hebrews 13: 5b “I will never leave you nor forsake you”.  I chose to forgive the LOVE GAME HOST – because like I was, he too, was searching to fill a void, one that can only be filled by the Father’s love.

A father’s love is more than a token

Because when it is missing it leaves little boys and girls broken

Who become men and women full of void

We then use one another as abused toys

But that love has been redeemed

And if we submit to His will

He shall fill the void in you and in me

Through a love like none other

That only through Him we can be complete

Seek to be whole in Christ

Before joining together yours with another broken life

Last 5 posts by Nikkita Morris

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